


He ain't heavy (he's my sexy co-worker)

by Mercurialfan



Category: The Witcher (TV) RPF
Genre: Accidents, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercurialfan/pseuds/Mercurialfan
Summary: Henry carrying him around was going to be all kinds of awkward. Joey fortunately finds a solution, but things don't go exactly as planned.
Relationships: Joey Batey/Henry Cavill
Comments: 9
Kudos: 108





	He ain't heavy (he's my sexy co-worker)

**Author's Note:**

> I asked for prompts on Tumblr, and I got several, yay! I managed to combine them into one fic, enjoy!

Joey skittered around the outside corner of the makeup trailer, crumpled script in hand. Panting, he barely stopped to knock before throwing the door wide open and barreling in.

“Henry, did you see the script?” he screeched, ignoring the looks the makeup artists threw him for disturbing their work.

Henry, bless him, kept staring straight ahead, as to not mess up the delicate process of the hairstylist fitting the wig on his head. He did, however, catch Joey’s eye in the mirror.

“The one where I have to spend several hours in a bathtub with Anya?” Henry asked, amused. “Yes, Lauren thought it was a good idea if Anya and I got it a few days early, to make sure we were comfortable with everything.”

Joey blinked. He hadn’t even gotten that far. He had read ‘Geralt carries Jaskier over his shoulder, through the hallway and up the stairs’, and he had bolted for the makeup trailer. Apparently there was going to be all kinds of madness this episode.

“Oh,” he said faintly, “that’s a thing that’s happening too?”

Henry raised an eyebrow, still careful not to disturb the wig perched precariously on his head.

“That’s not why you are here, I take it then?”

“No, why would I? I’ve seen you in a bathtub before, remember? (And wasn’t that a memorable occasion?) No, I’m here because of the”- Joey sat himself down on an unoccupied stool- “‘Geralt carrying Jaskier’ scene!”

Joey looked at Henry expectantly. If Henry already had the script for several days, surely he would have read it the whole way through at least once? Had he somehow missed it?

“What about it?” Henry asked bemused. He was still only looking at Joey via the mirror, but now his brow was slightly furrowed, as if he was solving a particular hard riddle.

Joey huffed. Unbelievable. For a well educated man, Henry could be so dense sometimes. “You have to carry me, probably several times, through a hallway and up a stairway,” he said slowly, “ _me_. Not Anya, or Freya, ME.” He gestured at himself. “Eighty kilos of Joey. Up the stairs. In your armor. Several times.”

“So?”

Joey rolled his eyes. It was a macho thing then. He sighed, leaning forward a bit. “Henry dear, I know you are very strong and muscled and everything, but don’t you think it will be a bit much?”

Henry let out a barking laugh, upsetting his wig and resulting in the hairstylist throwing up her arms and taking the whole thing off.

“Girls, let’s take five and let these two idiots figure things out,” she said exasperated.

Twin shouts of ‘cheers’ followed the women out, and Joey finally had Henry’s full attention.

“Well since you seem convinced it is going to be easy, how do you suggest we do it, then?” Joey asked.

Henry shrugged lazily. “I’m thinking either a fireman’s carry,” - Henry mimed carrying someone over both shoulders- “or I throw you over one shoulder. I think the last one would be best. Geralt would want to have one hand free, and it’ll be easier to put you down on the table at the end of the scene.”

“It’s gonna be weird though,” Joey blurted out, “you, carrying me. Right? Don’t you think it’s going to be weird?”

Henry shrugged again. “We will also be filming an orgy scene for that episode, so honestly… Could be worse. Are you alright? You look a bit… odd?”

Joey felt he was about to combust. There was an orgy scene?!

“I think it might be best if I go and read the rest of the script,” he stuttered, before hurrying out the trailer, leaving Henry and the makeup artists outside to stare at him as he beat a hasty retreat.

Okay so apparently Henry and Joey were not actually going to participate in said orgy scene, but they were going to be right in the middle of it.

This was fine. Nothing weird about walking through a throng of naked people with your crush while you pretend to choke.

“Madeleine!” Joey wailed on the phone, “I’m going to have the most awkward boner and he will definitely notice and he’ll be all polite about it and I will quite literally die.”

Madeleine, who had been laughing at him for the past five minutes, managed to choke out something about the pants he was wearing being kind of loose, so maybe Henry wouldn’t notice?

“No! He’s going to be carrying me! He will _feel_ it! I’m going to poke a hole in his shoulder armor with my cock!” Joey yelled.

“Shoulder armor? Won’t you be practicing in just sweatpants and T-Shirts first? You might poke a hole in his shoulder if you’re not careful,” Madeleine giggled.

Joey groaned. He hadn’t even thought of that. “I’m fucked,” he said miserably.

“Can’t you just, I don’t know, practice with a stuntman?” Madeleine suggested, “that way you know exactly what to do and how it feels, and maybe all the, eh, ‘excitement’ will have worn off?”

“Madeleine, if I wasn’t gay as fuck I would kiss you,” Joey exclaimed, “you’re a genius!”

“There is also you being on the other side of the continent, dear,” Madeleine said drily, “but you’re welcome.”

Practicing with a stuntman, Max, worked out really well. No awkward boners, no being afraid he would fuck up the lead actor’s shoulder, and no forgetting his lines because he was distracted by the memory of Henry’s shapely ass.

That is, until Max dropped him. One moment everything was fine, Max had just carried him up the stairs for the third time, and the next he lost his footing on the slippery ground. Luckily Max was a professional and managed to twist in such a way that Joey wouldn’t hit his head on the steps, but it came at the price of Joey hitting the steps shoulder and ribs first. Both men tumbled down the fortunately short stairs, before coming to a stop in a heap of limbs. Groaning, Joey lay still for a moment, taking stock of his injuries.

He wasn’t an expert, and adrenaline was coursing through his body, but it didn’t feel like he had broken anything. Next to him Max was already sitting up and throwing him a concerned look.

“I’m so sorry, are you alright?” Max asked, leaning over to prod at Joey’s ribs.

Joey groaned, but managed to sit up by himself.

“I think I’m fine, you?”

Max nodded briefly, and then, “uh oh.”

Before Joey could ask what was wrong, a Henry-shaped blur slid to his knees next to Joey, one hand grabbing him by his upper arm and the other carefully cupping his face. Considering the rest of the crew who had seen the accident happen were still several meters away, Henry must have run at full speed to reach them this quick, especially since he was supposed to be on the other side of the set.

Joey was still a bit shaken up by the fall, so it took him a moment to realize Henry was talking to him:

“Joey, can you look at me? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Joey blinked, staring dazedly into Henry’s blue eyes. Eyes that were increasingly looking more and more worried. “Joey? Can you hear me?”

Finally realizing that he was supposed to answer, Joey carefully nodded.

“I’m fine. Max and I just wanted to make sure the floor was up to code so we decided to have an impromptu inspection.”

It was a lame joke, but next to him Max let out a huff of laughter. Henry, however, was unamused and turned to Max.

“From now on I’m the only one who practices with Joey for this scene,” Henry said matter-of-factly.

Joey opened his mouth to protest, but one look from Henry had him shutting it just as quick. He chanced a look at Max, who looked guilt-ridden.

Unwilling to let Max take the blame, Joey decided to speak up. “Henry, it wasn’t his fault. The steps were slippery and I was wriggling a bit. There is no need for anything drastic, please.”

“I still want you to practice with me,” Henry said stubbornly.

Joey rolled his eyes but looked at Max.

Max shrugged. “As long as I don’t lose my job, everything is fine by me.”

After assuring Max that he wouldn’t be fired and that he had actually managed to find a potential safety hazard, Henry clapped Max on the back and turned to Joey.

“You wanna try again?”

“Absolutely not!” A voice interrupted Joey’s reply (which incidentally, would have been the exact same), “I need to let Joey get checked over for injuries and we need to reevaluate those set pieces.” Lauren was standing with her arms crossed, surrounded by the medical team that had finally decided to show up.

Joey decided that enough was enough and staggered to his feet, helped by Henry who was still holding his arm. Henry only let go when Joey was standing all the way up. His ribs gave a painful twinge, but other than that he felt remarkably fine, and said so to the gathered crowd.

“I thank you all for your concern, but I think it would be best if I were to retreat to my trailer to try and salvage whatever is left of my wounded ego, but rest assured, I shall live to sing another day!” 

Laughing, the crowd dispersed, leaving only Henry, Lauren, and Joey.

“Joey?”

“I’m fine Lauren, I promise. I didn’t hit my head or anything.”

Lauren hesitated, but finally nodded. She looked over at Henry.

“Do you mind taking Joey back to his trailer? I really need to go deal with replacing those stairs, especially since I want to shoot that scene this week.”

Before Joey could protest he was truly no worse for wear and could walk to his trailer on his own, thank you very much, Henry answered in the affirmative and gently guided Joey away to the area set apart for their trailers.

They walked along in silence. Joey ignored the concerned glances Henry kept shooting him, and Henry apparently didn’t know what to say. When they finally arrived at Joey’s trailer, Henry insisted on coming in. Joey wanted to protest that it was a mess, and also he was fine, stop worrying, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Sighing, he gestured for Henry to follow him.

Henry had barely closed the door behind them when he turned to Joey, hurt evident in his eyes.

“Do you really think I can’t do it?”

Joey paused in frantically kicking his dirty socks under the tiny couch to stare at Henry.

“What?”

Henry absent-mindedly picked up a forgotten guitar pick from a side table and played with it, avoiding Joey’s eyes.

“I could really carry you, you know. You don’t need to practice with Max. I promise you I won’t drop you.”

Joey felt his heart skip a beat. It had never been his intention to make Henry feel incompetent, or unwanted.

“I know you can! I just didn’t want to bother you,” Joey replied quickly. It wasn’t really a lie, he hadn’t want to bother Henry. Not bother him with his cock, that was. But Henry really, really, didn’t need to know that part.

“You know what?” Joey said, “you can pick me up right now. Show me how good you are at picking up men. Uhm. In the air. I mean. Yeah.”

Could this day be any worse? Joey thought to himself. Who said stuff like that? He almost wished he had fallen a bit harder and had to be taken to a hospital, just so this entire conversation would have never happened.

Henry seemed to take it in stride and ignored most of Joey’s idiotic rambling.

“Are you sure? You did just fall. We can wait until tomorrow.”

“Oh no. This is obviously bothering you, so you better put your money where your mouth is, and effortlessly carry me over your shoulder.”

Joey wasn’t sure why he was now suddenly so dead-set on Henry carrying him. All he knew he was in pain and wanted this day to be over, but he also wanted to wipe the sad look of Henry’s face. If practicing the scene just once would solve both his problems, so be it. Henry, however, still looked hesitant.

“Come on, Henry. Just lift me up, we don’t have space to walk around anyway, but then we’ll know how it feels and then we can rehearse the scene in its entirety tomorrow,” Joey cajoled.

Henry shrugged, put the guitar pick back on the table, and before Joey knew it, he was being lifted up and thrown over Henry’s shoulder. Any fears Joey may have had about getting a boner vanished in that moment. His shoulder and ribs screamed in protest and he couldn’t help but cry out.

Henry immediately bend his knees and put him down, concern written on his features.

“Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry! Is it your ribs?”

Joey shook his head, “I’m fine,” he gasped out.

Henry didn’t look convinced, and worse; he seemed to be angry at himself.

“Henry. Henry! I’m fine, see?” With that, Joey confidently lifted his shirt to show Henry that he didn’t have a scratch on him.

His action backfired spectacularly. Not only did lifting his arm hurt his shoulder, the gasp and wide eyed look Henry threw him told him he might be a bit more battered than he had thought.

He chanced a look at his side himself. He hadn’t had any moment to himself since the accident so he had actually no idea how it looked.

Oh.

Yeah, okay, that wasn’t pretty. His entire side was covered in bruises, some only light blue, others already an angry purple. He quickly dropped his shirt. “Whoops.”

Henry looked devastated, eyes wide and concerned. His hands seemed to subconsciously reach out and lifted Joey shirt again. Joey was so surprised he didn’t make a move to stop him. A big, warm hand gently covered the worst of the damage.

“Joey… I’m so sorry for lifting you up like that. It must have hurt so much. What can I do to help?”

Joey, in the meantime, seemed to have lost all capacity to speak. Henry was touching his naked side, standing incredibly close. He was pretty sure he was about to faint.

Henry suddenly let go, a stammered apology on his lips. “I’m an idiot, touching you like that must have hurt even more. I’m gonna go get some ice.”

“Don’t. Please.”

Henry looked up at Joey’s plea, bewildered, but stopped moving towards the door.

Joey sat down heavily on his tiny, unmade bed, and patted the space next to him. He had no idea what he was doing, but Henry seemed ready to bolt and the last thing Joey wanted was for things to be awkward the rest of the season.

“Stop stressing and sit down, will you?”

Henry hesitated, but gingerly sat down. The bed creaked ominously and both men looked at each other with wide eyes before bursting out laughing.

“Typical, I survive falling down the stairs, but meet my end when my bulky co-working sits his majestic ass down on my cheap Ikea bed,” Joey giggled, holding onto his sore ribs with one arm.

He could tell Henry wanted to playfully punch him in the arm, but held back at the last second, a guilty look once again crossing his face.

“Hey,” Joey said, turning serious, “it’s just some bruises. Sure, I feel them, and I will probably be a bit stiff tomorrow, but I’ll live. And none of it was your fault. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow, and if I’m hurting too much I will tell you, and we’ll figure out how to do the scene a bit later, yeah?”

Henry sighed, but gave him a small, earnest smile.

“Promise you’ll tell me if it gets bad?”

“Promise.”

With that Henry let out a relieved sigh, and clapped his hands. “Now tell me what I can do to make you feel better.”

Years later, Joey would blame all the things he said next on exhaustion, him having hit his head in the accident after all, and sheer excessive alcohol abuse in his youth. No matter that only the first of these things were true.

“You could rub chamomile onto my lovely chest.”

Instead of Henry A) laughing incredulously at him, or B) just straight up leaving, or C) flirting right back (as if!), he looked at Joey earnestly.

“Do you think it would help?”

Joey resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “No you sweet, dumb man. I was joking. But you can if you want?”

Henry’s eyes went wide: “You’re flirting with me!”

“Thanks for noticing.”

“Well in that case… No chamomile here, but maybe I can kiss it better?”

He could and he did. And later, when Joey did poke Henry with his boner, well, neither of them minded in the least.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terrible at replying to comments, but I appreciate them very much!


End file.
